6 Freaky Fast Food Creations

Your appetite is about to be attacked by zombies and vampires. I'm not talking about the children in plastic masks ringing your doorbell on Halloween night. I'm referring to the bowls of Snickers, Smarties, and other sugary snacks that will inevitably show up in your home today.

My advice: Indulge. In moderation, of course. And then focus your attention on the real food monsters among us. Every year, the mad scientists of the food industry gather in their creepy labs (or, possibly, boardrooms) to create new disguises for nutritionally inferior fare. In the past, that amounted to an extra patty on your burger or some cheese stuffed into your pizza crust. But as these tricks started becoming commonplace, the food industry began resorting to increasingly crazier creations. These are the strange, mutilated, dangerous monsters I call "Frankenfoods."

Below you’ll find a list of the most frightening of these freaky foods, courtesy of the new and completely updated Eat This, Not That! 2013 Edition. Be warned: Not only are these menu items a waste of your money, but eating them may elicit blood-curdling screams when you step on the bathroom scale. 

#6: Scariest Chicken Dish

Pizza Hut Garlic Parmesan Bone-Out Wings (6 wings)
780 calories
57 g fat (10.5 g saturated)
2,130 mg sodium

Ever seen a chicken without bones in its wings? Of course not. Mother Nature put them there for a reason, and it wasn’t so multinational food corporations could go yanking them out for their own twisted purposes. Not only are these freakish “bone-out” wings just plain weird, but thanks to a generous coating of creamy sauce and a layer of greasy breading, they have more than three times as many calories as the Hut’s Traditional All-American Wings. They may not have their own bones, but they’ll stick to yours in the worst way.

Eat This Instead!
Traditional All-American Wings (6 wings)
240 calories
15 g fat (4.5 g saturated)
870 mg sodium

SPINE-CHILLING SELECTIONS! From frightening amounts of fat to sinister doses of sodium, there are some nerve-racking nutritional facts lurking behind the walls of your favorite chain. Be a smart diner and don’t fall prey to the 8 Scariest Restaurant Meals in America.

NEXT: Scary Breakfast Sandwich >>

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