Keight Sanford, an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University, is an expert in the way couples wage war. Previous studies have shown there are two core concerns couples experience during conflict: perceived threat and perceived neglect.
Perceived threat means one partner feels his or her status in the relationship is challenged by a demanding partner, and perceived neglect involves feelings that a partner has limited investment in the relationship. Neither is good.
What All Dating Couples Want
“The things couples want from each other during conflicts will depend on their underlying concerns, and to resolve conflicts, they may need to use different tactics,” Sanford said in a press release. “The husband might buy flowers, and that might be helpful if his partner has a concern involving perceived neglect. But if the partner has a concern involving perceived threat, then the flowers won't do much to address the issue.”
In new research released this week, Sanford and colleagues studied nearly 1,000 couples married between one and 55 years. The researchers interviewed the couples about how they’d like current or ongoing conflicts to be resolved.
Relinquishing power, Sanford said, is a person’s ability to share control when making decisions. This was the single most important factor couples identified.
Based on their responses, researchers discovered five other things people want from their partners, in order of importance: to show investment, to stop adversarial behavior, to communicate more, to give affection, and to make an apology.
“Even among relatively good sleepers, a poor night of sleep was associated with more conflict with their romantic partner the next day,” Serena Chen, a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley, said in a press release.
Besides potentially harming your relationship, too little sleep is bad for your overall well being. Visit the links below to learn more about how to improve your, ahem, nighttime health.