The Truth About Lying

Dr. Drew's Lifechanger and Life Coach Lauren Zander says, "Clinical depression is a serious medical condition that affects millions of Americans every year, but what about all us other people out there who are just plain unhappy? What can we do to feel better? I have the perfect prescription. It's called 'stop lying.'"

Lying may be the reason you feel so bad. Yes, I said it. It’s becoming an epidemic. Almost everyone lies every day, often all day long; it's as natural as breathing or eating for most people. Half the time, most of us don't even realize we are lying. Just to be clear, I'm grouping a bunch of different human phenomena under the general heading "lying" -- exaggerating, withholding information, white lies, justified lies (e.g., "No, Honey, you don't look fat in that"), fooling ourselves. All have some form of stretching, hiding, ignoring or avoiding the truth. 

Here are several different ways in which we lie:

Being Nice 

Most of us want to be perceived as a good person, so instead of telling the truth to people, we tell nice white lies to make them feel good, or rather, not feel bad. For example, you have lunch with an old friend and tell her that she looks fantastic, when you really think ‘uh oh...she's put on at least 15 pounds.' You justify the lie with the excuse that you don't want to hurt her feelings. The problem is that the whole conversation is fake. If you really are good friends, wouldn't you want to know what's going on in her life that could be causing her to put on weight? Is she okay? Did something happen? Find out what's going on. Be real.

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Not Speaking Up 

Many of us are afraid to express our true thoughts and feelings because we are worried about how people will react. Say your new boyfriend brings you to a Thai restaurant, but you hate Thai food. You don't tell him. Then later, you become intimate with him, but the sex isn't that great. You pretend everything is fine, afraid to say something that might hurt him. By staying quiet, you're eating food you hate and having lousy sex. You're not in a relationship with this person; the fake you is in the relationship. 

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Covering Your Ass

These lies are about trying to cover something up so that we don't get into trouble. They usually start with, "I'm sorry..." plus an excuse. In my 20s I was great at these lies. I would be running late for a meeting and plot in my head the reason that I was late. "I'm sorry I was late, but traffic was horrible," or "The babysitter was sick." Bullshit. I was late because I left 20 minutes later than I should have. Often these lies are completely false, or they just have a dose of fabrication in them to throw people off the truth. These lies become second nature. All of a sudden you don't even realize you're doing them.

NEXT: More Types of Lies >>